


The Pact

by Spectacular_Sam_I_Am



Category: Original Work
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Awkward Crush, Divorce, F/F, F/M, High School, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Major Character Injury, Out of my league, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 21:00:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16899756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spectacular_Sam_I_Am/pseuds/Spectacular_Sam_I_Am
Summary: Are you willing to give all you have to the one you love most? Including your life?The everyday struggles of Emilia sometimes become too much as she retreats to a place she knows all to well. What will happen to her as she forcefully makes it through this tragic  problem she is presented with.





	The Pact

“Do you promise?” He said grabbing my wrist rather tightly, it stung a little with his grip on it.

“Of course I do… I promise” I replied back with a heavy heart, rain soaked clothes and wet hair draped across my face. He looked back with a devilish smile

“Then it’s settled if I go.. You go to! Or we go together. Trust me it’s for the best” I gave a soft smile and we slowly walked through the roof access door and down the steps, but my smile quickly shifted to fear…

That’s when it all went down hill, when I sold my life to someone. This is the story of how it got that way and the events after. My name is Emi short for Emilia, I know spelled with an E it’s pretty weird, but it was mine and I was stuck with it, but about two months ago my life slowly started taking a turn in a direction I could never have been prepared to face. A choice was placed before me and I still don’t know if I chose right, it all started in my math class. I was watching Jackson as usual. He was super sweet and kind and also cute! Everyone of my friends knew I had a thing for him but he seemed way out of my league so I guess I was left with fantasies of him talking to me and us getting together.

“Em...Em! EM! Hey Em you in there? C’mon the class bell sounded like forever ago” I heard that ring through my fantasy, my best friend and lives annoyance, Alex. She was something else, just picture short messy hair and not like short as in shoulder length I mean short like cut all it’s length short. Alex does her own haircuts so it’s usually a botched job but she rocks that messy look all year, she is essentially your average tumblr girl. We became friends four years ago over some dumb thing my teacher forced us to do as partners, I honestly hated her at first but after the first project we were inseparable.

“Yes yes I’m alive and here, let’s get going. I don’t wanna lose our spot at lunch to those dumbass jocks that always steal it.” I grabbed my stuff and headed out the door but after I did, I back peddled a bit and looked back in the room. Jackson was still inside it, what was he doing he never stay behind as far as I knew and I pay attention to him like all day so I should know. But still it wasn’t too weird so I dropped it and just followed that short haired idiot to the lunch room where to not our surprise the jocks stole our seats so we were forced to sit outside which wasn’t all bad just it was cold out and I really didn’t feel like sniffling through my next class. 

“Sitting outside isn’t so bad Em! You love the outdoors, so unleash your inner wood nymph and get out there” Alex said to me as she pushed me out the double doors to the outside world. The sun was out and it was bright yet it was still cold out. How does that work just make up your mind earth. After my internal rant to mother nature we took a seat on the outside tables where me and her started having a conversation about, as childish as it may seem, My Little Pony. I mean what can I say those dumb little ponies are cute and sometimes the plot line is cool to follow. Halfway through our heated debate on who was more cute Rainbow Dash or Pinkie Pie, Alex was so struck with pony anger that she grabbed my wrist and stated that Pinkie was by far cuter but to her surprise she let go and looked down in sadness it seemed. I knew she saw the look I gave her when she grabbed me. I gritted my teeth and inhaled slightly through them.

“Em.. you did it again didn’t you?” She said that and the disappointment in her voice echoed through my body.

“I’m...I’m sorry...it just gets so hard sometimes, I don’t know what else to do.. I’m sorry Alex..” I was quickly interrupted and had arms around me as she was hugging me with tears running down her cheeks. She spoke with a broken voice.

“Don’t be sorry...I’m sorry I didn’t notice. I’m sorry you don’t feel like you can come talk to me about this. I will be the sorry one here okay? You did nothing wrong Em we are gonna get through this. Like we always do” I embraced the hug as I started to cry just as bad as she was if not worse than she was. What was I doing? Letting her down like this she must be so upset with me. I did it again. I let her down so much and she stays every time and I still can’t understand why she wants to be friends with me or why anyone wants to be. I am glad she stayed though through it all. It seemed for a long time that no one ever understood me until she came along and found out about me, the me no one else sees.

“I promise you it won’t happen again… and if it does I’ll come to you right away. It just all gets to be too much for me to handle Alex. My family, this school, my love life! I can’t keep it all in control…” I was once again interrupted by her as she began to hug me tighter.

“I know Em.. I know it can. But you have made it through way too much to start giving up now. Besides you know I won’t let you give up!” She understood it in a way that no one else could. A way that made sense to me. Every time I started to doubt myself she was there to grab me by the shirt and pull me up and maybe hit me on the head a couple times for thinking that way about myself. She was the best friend I could ever ask for.

“Now let’s try to eat lunch before the bell rings okay? Eating is also important. You can’t think good things about yourself or life if you’re too busy thinking about food.” She was right so we both ate silently for a bit. She would bring up topics every so often to keep me talking and smiling, she always knew how to make me laugh.  
My next class was starting so I gave her a hug and we headed our separate ways, I got into my Geography class late as usual. I took my seat in the back and looked ahead with a bit of a pink tint in my cheeks as my eyes made contact with Jackson to which my table partner bumped me and gave a gesture to go over to him. I got even redder at the idea of going closer to him I simply sat back down and tried to focus on getting ready for class, but nope the worst possible thing happened next.

“Hey Jackson come here Emi has a question for you!” That fucking jerk! I was gonna knock him out and make him wish he was dead but it was too late Jackson was making his way over to me my face was burning. Was I red? Would he notice oh god all these thoughts shooting through my mind! Why were my fantasies playing in my head now! It was too late to turn back he was here.

“Umm yeah what is it Emi?” My mind was a blank what was I going to say! I had to say something to him think you dummy think! All that came to my mind was…

“I really like your pants! Where did you get em?” PANTS! Fucking Pants! You idiot! Why would you say something weird like that! What is wrong with you? He gave me a look of complete confusion and slowly answered.

“Uh I got them at Walmart… why?” In my distress it only got weirder.

“Well just cause y’know I wanna buy a pair for me! Eheh yeah I wear guy jeans all the time just not recently which is why you haven’t seen me wear any…” what.. The fuck! What was I doing! What on Earth was I doing! I just told my crush that I like wearing guys jeans and asked where he buys his! Someone shoot me please!

“Umm cool I guess.. Is that all you wanted?” He hated me.. Yep he thinks I’m a complete psycho!

“Nah that was all you can sit down now! Thanks darling!” wait did I just oh no I did! He walked away with the most awkward look on his face. I sat down deep in my seat and basically died. I didn’t want to be living anymore. Did I seriously call him darling? What is wrong with me. Class went through very slowly for me after that. The whole time I couldn’t wait for that bell to ring as soon as it did I bolted out of class running for the room where Alex would be. I ran to hear with a red face and tears as I wrapped around her tightly.

“It’s awful it’s all over I’m ruined Alex! My life is over” She hugged me back and simply asked me what had happened, after I told her the whole story. She looked at me with a funny expression.  
“Yeah you’re right it’s over. I don’t think there is any coming back from that one Em” I knew she was joking, just trying to find a way to cheer me up and make me smile. As she rubbed my head and walked me to a bench as we sat down. I was still very upset and now had anger in my eyes.

“I’m gonna kill him! I’m gonna kill that dumbass who sits next to me!! This is his fault” Alex just laughed and hugged me closer.

“It’s all chill Em. You’ll get a second chance, it’s not over yet. Especially with someone as attractive as you! Of course Jackson would say yes and dismiss your weird comments” I looked at her with my anger fading slowly.

“You...you really think so? He won’t be weirded out because I’m cute? I don’t know doesn’t that seem stereotypical of guys?” I told her as I was looking at myself trying to see the cute that she sees.

“Em. I know so, you’re super cute and a sweet person why wouldn’t anyone wanna be with you. So life isn’t over and you will be okay, and if he still doesn’t like you then it’s his loss.” She hugged me which made me smile. She was right, I am cute and nice! I’m sure there is a ton of people who would want to be with me! If he said no then all I got to do is move on and carry on. She always knew just what to say to me in order to make me happy, I’m so glad she is my friend and not anyone else. No one can replace Alex. After a couple hours went by the final class bell rang and I met with Alex outside the school where we usually meet up to walk home together on the way we talked about dumb stuff as usual which might have been more My Little Pony debates. Although, some time through it Alex stopped walking and folded her arms.

“What’s wrong Alex? C’mon you actually gotta move your feet to walk”

“Em y’know if you don’t wanna go home my mom is perfectly fine with you staying with us. She does say your the ‘adopted’ daughter she never wanted” I knew what she meant by that, her mom loved me as if I was her own child. 

“I’ll be fine, now c’mon let’s get going or I’m gonna be late getting home and then dad will take my phone away.” I insisted that she hurry up. My family was one for being on time to places especially when it came to me getting home on time when they say. Alex slowly unfolded her arms and let out a sigh as she continued on and we made it to my house where she hugged me goodbye and told me to text her when I can. I got inside and called out letting them know that I was home. My entrance was greeted the same as it usually is with the sound of arguing. I could hear my dad yelling at my mom and mom yelling back at him. 

“Mom? Dad? I’m home. Sorry if I’m a little late, Alex walked slow this time… Mom!?” As I called out again I heard my dad coming down as he greeted me rather nicely and hugged me.

“Why were you and mom yelling at each other again?” I asked him with a sad look to my face.

He stood straight up and walked over to the couch where he grabbed the remote. “We weren’t arguing sweetie. Me and your mom were having a little debate and she didn’t want to say that she was wrong isn’t that right honey?” Mom walked down the hall with a forced smile.

“Yes that’s right, but it seems your father was incorrect and didn’t want to man up and say he was. But no we weren’t arguing promise” She hugged me too and walked to the kitchen to start preparing dinner. I headed up to my room and unpacked my school stuff and started my attempt at doing an actual homework assignment, it had been years since I actually turned in an assignment on time. I was struggling so much in math but I was trying my hardest still. It seemed like I was working on this for hours when my mom shouted for me to come down and eat dinner. I reluctantly came down to the table and sat with them to eat what my mom had “made” she hasn’t made food for real in months, she would reheat leftovers from places that we went the other day or that she picked up from somewhere along the way from work. 

“So how was school today? Anything interesting at all happen?” My dad was asking in a different tone he knew I didn’t like talking about it. I answered him anyway.

“It was fine, just rather uneventful. I mean classes went on as normal. So just boring I guess” I told him as I was slowly putting food into my mouth, and he gave me a look that I could tell he didn’t believe that everything was normal at school. 

“Are you sure it is all okay? You know you can tell us anything right”

“I know but everything was fine. It was perfectly normal, now can I just finish my food!” I gave an attitude I knew I did, I didn’t want to talk about this. I hate when they question my school day.

“Now Emilia there is no need to give an attitude. It was just a simple question” Mother responded to my small outburst, great now she is getting involved exactly what I needed. I could never tell them what happened at school. 

“Just leave me alone please I don’t like talking about it. Okay! I just want to eat and get back to my room, now can I do that please?!” What happened next I knew I deserved, I was being a pain, but I hate talking about anything that has to do with my life. I was quickly sent up to my room and grounded. I didn’t care, I stormed up there and slammed the door.  
“Ugh! I fucking just ahh! They really get on my nerves sometimes. I just…” Tears started to well up in my eyes as I slide down the door and cradled my knees putting my head into them letting it all run out. I cried for about ten to fifteen minutes, before my sadness was interrupted by the sounds of loud arguing voices. My mom and dad were at it again. I stayed quiet and put my ear to the door so I could listen to what they were arguing about.

“I’m just tired of it all David! I can’t do this anymore. You’ve become such a stubborn negative jerk ever since you got this new job. You are not the man I fell in love with 20 years ago” 

“So what if I’m not! I’m providing for this family. Something you’ve never done! People change Jess! They change! I had to change to be a better person to get this worthless job.” They were yelling about their marriage as usual, that seems to be all they ever yelled about.

“And then there is Emilia! I don’t know what is wrong with that girl! She never talks to us anymore and she has become so distant, and all I do is shell out money to pay for shit that she needs because she isn’t good at anything. Going to summer school and then her stupid art that face it Jess that won’t get her anywhere. Sometimes… just--” My mom cut him off.

“Sometimes what? Sometimes what David?” I could hear a voice I’ve never heard come out of my mom. It sounded like she was going to cry but also like she was gasping for air.

“Sometimes… if you didn’t go and have Emilia maybe things would be different and we wouldn’t argue so much. We wouldn’t have changed.”

“Oh so it’s her fault? It’s Emilia’s? Your daughter! How low can you get. Blaming this on that poor girl. You know it’s not her fault!” I felt something wet hitting my cheeks and heard drips on the floor. I started to cry more and had no idea that I was crying. It was my fault, if I wasn’t born my parents would be happier. I am just a nuisance to them and to everyone around me. I walked over to my window and stared out at the night sky. Many thoughts wracked through my brain that night. I just brushed them off as usual and tried to go to sleep, but to no luck I woke up around 1AM in a panic from a nightmare. I started to cry into my blankets, what was going on my world felt as if it was falling apart around me. Without thinking I got up and walked over to my art supplies and grabbed the Exact-O knife, I held it up against the moonlight shining into the room. I watched as the sharp edge of the blade glistened in the glow of it. Lifting my arm up and sliding my sleeve up my arm revealing softer skin and tarnished marks on my wrists, I held the cutting edge of it to my skin. Falling to the floor as the crimson rain began to pour onto the ground and tears filled my eyes once again.


End file.
